A Writer's Objectives

Archive for the ‘Venting’ Category

Sunday Sharing

Normally I would be sharing 6 sentences from a piece of writing today. I’m still in the process of deciding if I will be continuing with that or not, so bear with me. In the meantime, it looks like today will just be a day to fill everyone in on what I have going on in my life, both involving writing and not. It may help give an idea why I have been so sporadic about posting since my ‘come back’.

  • Homework: Since coming back to the blog, I’ve been swamped with school work. Tomorrow, I have a 15-20 page paper to complete that compares, contrasts and analyzes two poems and their authors. I have yet to actually start the paper. I’ve had 4-10 page papers due every week, on top of regular class work, for the last 5 weeks.
  • Sad Things: A dear friend of mine was in the hospital, in a coma, for a few weeks. This had all my attention, and therefore homework was always a struggle to complete the day it was all due. Life got pretty hectic. Then, a few days ago, another friend got into a severe car accident which resulted in him going off the road and flipping his car. He is fine, but his car it totaled.
  • Social: My friends have been around a lot… mainly as support as I dealt with the troubles with the friend mentioned about, but also to try to bring some fun into my currently not exciting/fun/happy life.
  • Writing: I was fully unable to do any writing at all for a while. That has changed, however the writing is slow going thanks to other aspects of my life. I am hoping it picks up soon, though, and that I can get some short stories or chapters to novels worked on.
  • Blog: Some of the set themes for this blog are going to change. I’ll fill you in a little more once I figure out the details, but for now just be aware that there are changes on the horizon.

I guess that is everything. Check in tomorrow for an excerpt!

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Too Much of a Good Thing

I’m a writer (well damn, what a surprise that is!) and while some people may not believe it, I get tired of writing sometimes. It’s rare, but it happens.

I have a huge list of stuff to write, not least of which is homework related. I have fanfictions, short stories, a handful of novels, poems and other creative pieces, too. I have this blog, plus a collection of other blogs I update either daily or weekly. And the list just keeps growing. Why? Because I’m procrastinating. A LOT.

I have plenty of things to work on, obviously. I’ve worked on some of it now and again, but my writing spurts don’t last as long (or come as often) as they used. At first, my mojo was missing completely. Now that I have it back, it is less that I can’t write and more that there are more fun things to do.

Wait, there is stuff more fun than writing? That can’t be right…

I have a tight little group of friends that live with/near me. We have been spending a lot of time together, watching shows on Netflix, playing games (D&D and WoW) and just all around having fun. Last night, three of us went on an impromptu trip to a waterfall near my apartment (at 11PM, mind you) so that we could gaze at the stars without the added light from the houses, cars and street lamps. It was one of the most awe-inspiring and fun things I have done in years. Years I tell you! And that’s quite sad, in my opinion.

In my writing, I can do anything that comes to mind. I can fly on a dragon, dance in moonbeams, get married to a prince. But it’s all on paper (or laptop). None of it is something that I can actually experience. I can’t feel the mist of a waterfall on my face if I simply write about it.

I’m not saying I quit writing; one cannot rid themselves of their soul so readily. I’m just saying that I am probably going to take a much needed break from doing so much of it once I catch myself up on my to-do list. Now that I can write again, I can also choose not to. And as soon as these 14 pieces of writing get completed, that’s just what I am going to do (except blog posts; those are a constant. No worries!)

Fast Fiction- Wait…

Hey everyone. Normally, being Friday, I would be posting a short piece of fiction (100-300 words) for everyone to read and asking others to join in by doing their own Fast Fiction.

Not today.

I’m starting to wonder if it is really worth me taking the time to come up with a story every Friday. My aim for this was to get other authors involved as well and have them share their posts with me and then on Saturdays I would have a post with a link to all of the TripleF’s so everyone could read them and enjoy. Saturday posts have been ‘Wild Card Days’ only because I really haven’t had very many people join in.

And now I am getting bored.

So, if you would like me to continue with Fast Fiction Fridays, please let me know. And, if your wanting of me to continue includes you joining in, even better. I just need to know if I should change my TripleF message (remove the “please join me, blah blah blah” part) or leave it as is. In other words, will I have a reason to leave the invite for ya’ll to join me?

If I don’t get any responses, I’m going to think up something else to do on Fridays. I’ll keep you all informed, of course, but this may mean that Fridays may go without any type of post at all (except maybe updates on my thought process) for a few weeks.

 

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you would like to see happen with Fast Fiction Fridays!

Someone Stole My Writing Mojo!

Before I start, no, I did not lose my mojo again. Don’t panic; I’m back for good (I hope!).

Now, everyone calls their writing ability something different. Personally, I enjoy calling it mojo; it sounds silly. Recently, as I stated in previous entries, I lost my mojo. I’m pretty sure someone stole it, but that’s another story entirely. The point is that I was unable to write. Literally. I would get an idea for a story or poem or even for homework. I would sit down and start writing and after a few sentences it would just… stop. My ideas kept forming but hands wouldn’t type. It was like there was something stopping me from getting the ideas out. I’ve had a serial story on hold for almost two months, I have a huge list of requested short stories from friends that I haven’t done. My novels have all been severely neglected (though this really isn’t anything new). I even struggled with getting my D&D game going well because it was difficult pushing past the wall and allowing my creativity to shine.

Some would say it was just a form of writer’s block. I suppose I could agree; I wasn’t able to write anything. But it felt worse to me. I had all the ideas. The stories were forming in my head, including chapters for my novels. But when I would go to write them, I couldn’t. It was the worst feeling in the world. All this creativity in my head and I couldn’t get it out.

Sometimes it felt like my life force had been stolen from me. After I attempted to write and failed, I lost the energy to do just about anything. I read a lot, but it wasn’t doing much more than giving me ideas I couldn’t write down. My life was empty of the joy that writing brings. I enjoyed doing homework for classes because at least I was writing something (even if it was forced and far from my best work). To anyone who didn’t catch that, let me reiterate: I enjoyed doing homework. I feel like that was the low point. The point where I realized something was wrong and I needed to fix it.

Except I couldn’t fix it.

I tried all kinds of mind exercises to see if I could get the writing flow back. Nada. I tried telling stories to friends or reciting the poems that came to mind. Still couldn’t write them. Nothing was working. It terrified me. I honestly wondered if it was possible to have my writing mojo stolen because how could I ever be so careless as to lose something so precious to me?

At last, a few days ago while I was home sick, I sat down to browse the internet (as had become habit when I wanted to write but couldn’t) and before I knew what was going on, I had opened a document and was spewing the scene that had come to mind onto the pages before me. I got three pages typed up before I had to force myself to stop so I could go and eat dinner. Ever since, writing has been no problem.

I’m not sure where my mojo went (who stole it) or how it came back (why they gave it back to me), but I am more than glad it is back. I feel whole again, and like I can face anything that the world throws at me. I have a bounce in my step that was gone when my mojo was missing. And I don’t have to force out the painstakingly boring homework assignments; I can just toss them onto the page, add the citations needed and call it completed. And it looks good!

Life has been scary without my mojo. I rather felt like I wasn’t a whole person. Now that it is back, I have to figure out when to do creative writing; my homework piled up suddenly and I must have it completed much sooner than I would like. I do know, however, that it feels good to be whole again.

That’s what I’ve been going through (or at least some of it) lately. Has anyone else ever lost their ‘writing mojo’? Was it as scary for you as it was for me?

I Have Returned

As some of you may have noticed by yesterday’s post, I have returned to the blogging world. I will once again be posting regularly (though it may not be daily; this will depend on topics as well as what is going on in my life). I wanted to take today to go over the factors that caused me to take such a long break as well as go over what to expect from me in the future.

First of all, I went through a phase where I was constantly sick. It turned out that I have a combination of a sinus infection and bronchitis. The bronchitis was causing severe neck, shoulder and upper back pain, so nothing I did was comfortable. This went on for a couple weeks. After the meds had taken control and got rid of the infections, my body was then just trying to struggle its way back to healthy and avoid anything else I could have caught. Unfortunately for me (and my writing) this meant a lot of rest.

In combination with being physically ill, I was feeling very depressed. This had a lot of factors to it, but the biggest was that my life was not going in the direction I wanted it to be going and it made me feel pretty crappy about myself. Luckily, some good friends were there for me through this and I started counseling so I was (and still am) getting help there.

Then came school problems; there was so much I had to do for my online class (because I had taken a sort of impromptu break from them) that I had no time or energy for any other writing. I still have online classes, of course, but I am in a better space with them. In other words, I’m actually doing my homework.

Lastly, the Holidays! I was at my Mother’s for the Holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) so I decided to wait until that crazy time was over to start posting regularly again. By that time, I was also having computer problems (my old laptop was dying… quickly) so I was also very hesitant to do any sort of writing on it.

All in all life was just INSANE for me the last few months. I needed the break, but I am very glad to be back in the blogging community. I’ve added a new page to this blog, listing what the posts will be on each day. This does not mean that I will post every single day, but in general the things listed will be what you see.

I hope the new year brings with it some new readers/followers. I certainly have lots of new and fun topics to discuss! And plenty of new writing to share =)

 

Thanks for sticking with me through the last couple of months. It shouldn’t happen again. I really appreciate all the support I received while I was away. Thank you again!

~Raina

Like an old pair of jeans

Do you ever feel like the ability to write has abandoned you? I don’t mean writer’s block. I mean you sit down with all these awesome ideas, start typing and it just… sucks. Your usual style(s) of writing is nowhere to be found in the slop that you just put down on paper. It reads like some of the first things you ever wrote, when you were back in fourth grade and still learning all the rules of grammar and how to spell, how to use large words appropriately. It is utter drivel compared to the quality of writing you are used to producing.

This is what my life has been like the last two weeks. Aside from being sick with one of the worst colds I have had in a long time, I just can’t write. Yesterday was the first day I’ve produced something worth claiming as my own in a while.  Every other time I sat down to write, what I got down on paper was something so different (and terrible) compared to my usual that I wondered if I’d just lost my ability to write. Everything (including blog posts) was forced. And it was clear it was forced. But I had so much that I wanted to write that there was a traffic jam in my head.

In case you were wondering, yes, this was very uncomfortable.

Yesterday that strange… failure in my writing life ended. It was like putting on an old pair of jeans and realizing I still fit in them. Now I have to find time to do other things in my life. (GASP! There are things to do in life aside from write!?) Non-fiction, fan fiction, Dark Blood and a few short stories all want out…. at the same time. Plus I have to write a 3-page essay for my college course. This weekend could be interesting.

Have you ever gone through something like this? Tell me about it 🙂

 

Frustrations

I’m very frustrated with my novel, right now. I had the group of characters organized, had everything set in stone and just needed to tweak a few things here and there. Or so I thought.

This morning, while thinking about what I needed to get done on the novel, a new character decided to pop into my mind and say hello. This would be a problem if he planned to make himself part of the story in the chapters I have yet to write, but no. He has decided he wants to become part of the story starting near the beginning of the damn story. I now have to rework everything from his point of entry on so that he fits into things.

It’s really frustrating to think that I have a story mostly figured out and then it throws me for a loop or tosses a wrench in the gears. I’ve had this happen several times in the last few weeks and it is making me very unhappy with the characters. While everything makes sense and makes parts of the story make even more sense, I still hate it. I have to rework everything now… it’s like I’m rewriting it…. AGAIN. I’ve already rewritten this story twice. I guess a third time won’t kill me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not annoyed with it all.

In the last few weeks, characters have either decided to show me who they really are, tell me about what terrible things they did/will do or have randomly formed and tossed themselves into the plot. Had I just started this novel, I might be okay with it. But I’ve been working on this novel for 9 years (on and off, writing and rewriting, etc.). You’d think all of this stuff would have come to me before I wrote 29 chapters….

I guess this is the end of my rant. Maybe I will share the introduction to this new character next Monday (excerpt day). We’ll see what happens.