Writing, for most writers, is a part of the being. A part of the soul. There is no removing writing from a writer’s life because it is part of who they are. Every experience in a day can trigger some of the best stories, poems or novel ideas. We may choose to use them or push them aside into that folder in our mind we have labeled “For later use”. There is very little that doesn’t remind us of our passion.
But sometimes we want nothing to do with it.
When nothing goes right. When everything we’re working on has slammed the brakes on and refuses to ease up on them even just a little bit. We feel trapped at first, afraid of what that might mean. Then we get angry. ‘How dare that story put the breaks on! I was just getting into the flow of it!’ After the anger subsides, we slowly drift into a numbness; part of our daily life is gone for a little while. What do we do now? Then, by the time a deadline rolls around and we realize we need to get to work on the writing no matter how much it fights… we’re suddenly repulsed by the very thought of working on it.
We will procrastinate at the worst times, we writers. It doesn’t matter that we’ve got a novel to submit to our editor in a week; that trash can is full, that table needs to be washed and suddenly we have a toothbrush we don’t need anymore so let’s start washing the entire house using only that. If someone even mentions writing, we wince and pretend we didn’t hear them because we have absolutely no want to get near the writing. We are repulsed by the thought of work, of writing. Everything else that we’ve been putting off for months gets done in a matter of a week. Then, on the day before and the day of our deadline, we force ourselves to sit down and write. And we feel like it is the worst thing we’ve ever produced. As soon as we finish, we go back to avoiding it. We read books, we clean, we spend time with friends and family we will usually go out of our way to avoid using the excuse that we have writing to do.
Why does this happen?
Lately, I’ve been avoiding all types of writing possible. Homework (I get it done hours before it is due), serial stories (they’re supposed to be posted Monday/Tuesday. Guess when I write/finish them?), blog entries (see those big gaps in the week with no posts??). I don’t really know why, but the very thought of any type of writing is repulsive to me. I’m only writing this entry because I felt bad that I’ve been neglecting this so much. I’ve tried forcing other entries, but they just didn’t want to be written. I’m sure this will pass soon, and when it does I will begin posting daily once again. But please bear with my sporadic posts until I am no longer repulsed by the very thought of writing.