A Writer's Objectives

Prologue

Today I’m sharing the prologue of my newest novel project. Any and all feedback would be more than greatly appreciated. This is a work in progress as well, so what you see may not be what this looks like when I do (eventually) finish the novel it introduces. Please be aware that the following may not be suitable for all readers! If you have an aversion to violence, blood, gore or outright disturbing images, read at your own risk. This piece is a mystery/suspense with plenty of gross attached to it. 

It all started with a cat. Well, a dead cat. I found it on the side of the road near my home. Dad was still at work and Mom was busy. She was often busy and sent me out to play around the time the mail got to the house. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized our mail came several hours later than everyone else’s on the street.

But I digress.

The cat was small; maybe a year old. It’s tan and brown striped fur was covered in dirt and bodily fluids. It had obviously been run over by a car, since there was an odd indent in the chest. I was immediately fascinated. I picked it up by the tail and carried it to my tree-house; inside was where I kept all the interesting things I found when Mom was busy. The cat was the coolest, by far, and after I was sure no one had seen me with it, I sat down to further investigate my treasure.

Its yellow eyes stared blankly into the distance; they reminded me of marbles and suddenly the name ‘cat’s eye marbles’ made so much more sense. I wondered if real cat’s eyes would work as marbles. I would have to test that out, some day. But this day, no, this day was where it all began.

The old knife I found by the river the week before was dull and rusted. It took a while to break the tough skin of the cat. Once I did… oh, once I did, I explored the innards of that cat as though it were a cave full of treasure. I took out every organ and examined it, familiarizing myself with the shape. I knew Dad had books somewhere that told what body parts went where, what they looked like, how they worked. He was a doctor, after all, and needed to know these things. I would have to find them and see what parts were what.

I had emptied the cat of all its organs. My hands, arms, and clothes were drenched in blood and other fluids. The tree-house floor was a mess, too. And the smell, well, that was the only unpleasant part of the situation. I sat back and admired my work; I’d done well, and my eight-year-old self was proud of all I had accomplished. I wasn’t sure how I was going to clean up the mess, though, but I was on a cloud of pure joy and nothing could bring me down.

I ended up tossing the remains into the river. I dunked myself in it too, clearing my skin of the fluids and washing most of it from my clothes. I would figure out how to clean my tree-house another time, but I knew I was going to be late getting home if I didn’t hurry. My tiny feet carried me more quickly through the woods and across the lawn than they had ever done before. As I tumbled through the back door, Mom glanced at me. Her nose wrinkled in disgust and she pointed me to the bathroom.

I washed myself and disposed of my soiled clothing; neither of my parents would notice, I was sure. Dad worked a lot. Mom was always busy. And my older sister only left her bedroom to go to school (sometimes), eat and use the bathroom. I spent a lot of my time alone, watching cartoons or exploring outside. Everyday was the same. But now I had something else to occupy my time with.

That night I asked Dad for his books. I often told him I wanted to be a doctor like him, so he was more than happy to lend them to me. It was too late for me to actually read them, though, so I went to bed knowing that I had new things to learn the next day.

My name is Jim. I was eight years old when I discovered a dead cat on the side of the road near my house. From that day on, my life was never the same.

Please leave any feedback you have in the comments section. I reiterate: this is a work in progress. It will probably (most definitely) not appear this way in the finished product. This was written by me, therefore it is mine. If anyone chooses to steal my work, there will be serious consequences (bad mojo being the least of your problems). Thank you in advance for any and all feedback =) 

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Comments on: "Prologue" (5)

  1. I enjoyed this prologue – You’ve set the mood nicely and, not knowing anything about your book at all, it has enticed me to read more!

    The only criticism I would have is down to the blood on the clothes. Blood is quite a stubborn stain and it takes a lot more than cold water to get rid of it. Even if Jim managed to make it fade a little, the mother would be able to tell straight away if it was blood.

    Perhaps if he took off his jumper before entering the house? or got completely covered in mud to mask the blood or something?

    This is just my opinion, so I wouldn’t take it to heart.

    Overall though a thoroughly compelling story. I look forward to any future posts!

    • Thank you very much for your feedback. I greatly appreciate it! I will definitely look at what I have written about the blood. I’m aware how difficult it would be to get it out of the clothing. My point was less that she didn’t notice and more that she didn’t care enough about him to even question that he had obvious blood stains on his clothes. This is still a very very rough draft of the prologue, so I will attempt to make it more clear that that is the case in future editing.

      Thank you again for your feedback! I’m really glad you enjoyed it! =D

      • No problem, like I said it’s just my opinion – I have probably read it too fast and not noticed your portrayal of the mother’s relaxed attitude.

        I can honestly say I’m intrigued and look forward to your next chapter (if you post it that is – If not then you’re just cruel! =D)

        Let us know when you’ve got it published (probably a long way off if you’re just at the beginning – but nevertheless) and we’ll write a review for you.

      • I’m probably not going to post entire chapters. I will post snippets here and there, though! I’m sure the publishing part is a far off dream, but I will certainly keep you updated on the status =)

  2. Yeah I suppose you don’t want to give the story away – otherwise nobody will buy your book having read it already here!

    Be sure to keep us updated!

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